Deer Poop Diarrhea

I wrote Life as a newly anointed cat-person and realized only afterwards that I never shared the Deer Poop Diarrhea story in this forum. I couldn’t at the time. I was too scarred. But now, weeks later and later my apartment has started to smell normal again, I give you Deer Poop Diarrhea.

Okay, back when I was crazy and forced to drink beer to salvage my sanity, I had two puppies I was fostering: Curtis and Clarice. They were mostly just being their own canine selves and that was stressing me out, but ah well. For a freelance gig I have I was asked to write an article about dog parks. I thought Perfect!, I will take the dogs and interview other people with dogs while being a good foster mom at the same time. (I love to multi-task.) So Wonder Boy and I headed out to a local dog park but never found it. The whole drive Curtis and Clarice were in their carrying case crying away so after a while of looking for the dog park we gave up and took them to local city park that is big and very pretty. The pups were so small that leashes weren’t even an issue since I can pretty easily outrun something with an inseam of 3 inches.

The dogs loved being able to run around. More so, though, they loved being able to eat the deer poop that was everywhere. When I saw everywhere, I mean there was no feasible way for Wonder Boy and I to keep it out of their mouths. So after a while we gave up and just took them home.

On the way home I questioned Wonder Boy about the increasingly bad stink in his car. His sniffer is just about broke so he had no idea what I was talking about but it was so bad I rode with the windows down. Then we got them home and saw the source of the stink. They had vomited deer poop pellets all inside their carrying case.

After giving them their third bath of the day and cleaning out the carrying case (thank you, Wonder Boy, for doing that) we thought all was well.

But no.

For the next 48 hours the puppies had Deer Poop Diarrhea. Oh. My. God. Nothing on this planet should smell that bad. Even Wonder Boy could smell the Deer Poop Diarrhea and he, a nurse, said the only smell he could think of that was worse was when someone gets a gut bleed. It was nasty. After cleaning it up for like the 28th time, I called Wonder Boy in tears and said I was done.

Done. With all of it. With the puppies. With Deer Poop Diarrhea. Done.

They are adopted now so all is well. And my apartment is final starting to lose that scent of Deer Poop Diarrhea.

This post originally appeared on Kate’s Point of View. © Kate. All rights reserved.