Wonder Boy called me out to the backyard a few mornings ago. “Look,” he said. “There, on the patio table.” And when I looked to where he was pointing I saw the strangest, ugliest thing to have turned up in my backyard in a while.

Sitting there, on that rainy morning, was a cermic statue of a raccoon eating a statue. This was not a cute little garden gnome-esque, cute statue. Let’s be very clear that this thing was ugly as sin, sitting there on my patio table.

Ugly Raccoon Satue

Sitting beneath the ceramic beauty, inside a photo album plastic sleave, was a ransom note created with letters cut out from magazine headlines. It read:

Next time we take the cat.
The Note

Really? Which cat would that be? One of the two scaredy cats in permenant residence inside, the kitten with a heart murmur and heart failure that we’re fostering for a few weeks or Michael Jordan, the outside stray we feed? I am guessing that Addy and Newton, the indoor babies, don’t bother anyone. And I would like to think that the ailing kitten is off limits. So that leaves Michael Jordan. And that is funny.

Have at him. Don’t do it as a ransom act, though. So it as pure entertainment when I can watch! He’ll give you a good fight.

The Cat Who Would Kick the Burgler's Butt
This post originally appeared on Kate’s Point of View. © Kate. All rights reserved.