A Lesson in Proper Goat Petting TechniqueMany people approach petting a goat much like you would pet a cat. They start near the head and brush their hand lightly over the goats fur, moving in the same direction as the hair. This is a mistake, mainly because cats are particular animals who demand such specificity and goats eat garbage.

Other people want to pet a goat like they would pet a dog, running their hands furiously over the goats fur and saying, “Who’s a good boy?” This is better in theory than in actuality. While dogs are perpetually happy and excited to hear your ridiculous voice, talking like that to a goat only confused them.

So what to do?

You can successfully pet a goat in four simple steps:

  1. Make your hand into a fist.
  2. Hold your hand vertically, with the clenched index finger on top.
  3. Place your fist firmly between the goats two horns..
  4. Start pushing as hard as you  can, running back and forth slightly, much in the manner if giving a younger sibling a noogie.

That’s it. You are now on your way to successful goat petting.

Authors note: This method has only been tried sparingly. If it doesn’t work for you…. well, sorry!

This post originally appeared on Kate’s Point of View. © Kate. All rights reserved.