The bathroom situation at work is getting out of control. Here’s a summary of my most recent issues:
So Monday night I found myself at the ER, which would have been much scarier were it not for the entertainment that University Hospital provides.
While sitting in my partition, I saw someone walking around outside the curtain in a jumpsuit. First thought: must be a psych patient. So imagine my surprise when it turned out to be my doctor! No kidding, he had on a suit like the guys in Top Gun wore – like he was getting ready to fly a mission or jump out of a plane.
You know how sometimes there are things you really wish you would have said but they don’t occur to you until after the fact? Here’s a sampling of mine from Monday:
“Do you feel the need? The need for speed?”
“Any of you boys seen an aircraft carrier around here.”
“Getting ready to fly into the Danger Zone?”
And my personal favorite, “Wassup Maverick?”
In college over my breaks I worked at Lazarus as a stock girl, gift wrapper or fluffer and folder. I was usually the youngest on whatever teams I was working and I just tried not to say something dumb.
Once this girl was talking about this couch she and her friends bought in college and how they kept finding roach clips in it. I know when she said it I made a face and yelled, “Ew!” Because who wants anything to do with roaches in your couch, right? Right.
Seventh grade at St. Columban. I was in the gym on the bleachers before school started. It was a casual dress day so we got to wear jeans instead of our jumpers, a treat for us. Gina, one of the popular girls, showed me how to french cuff my jeans. A momentous occasion. Mind you none of my jeans were long enough to begin with because I grew too fast, so french cuffed they were a good six inches too short. I was stylin’, I assure you.
Flash forward 13 years.
Walking to work today what do I see? A guy – a very cool guy strutting with that it-may-look-like-I-have-a-limp-but-really-I’m-just-cool-like-that strut – had his pants french cuffed.
It was the greatest thing I have seen all day.
I am a big fan of when tech guys refer to their multiple boxes. It’s both stupid and perverted sounding. (For those of you who are not geeks, a box, I think, is a computer and some people have more than one on their desk and switch between them.)
One-upping the ridiculousness of the word, is a self-acknowledged tech geek who sits by me explaining to me that the actual plural of the word is boxen. The geek shall remain nameless to protect him.
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