So I am newly back from Vegas, a town where someone or something will do everything for you. Seriously, everything.

Putting coins into the slots yourself too hard? No problem! They have paper vouchers for you instead.

Picking up women too hard for you? No problem! There are listings for prostitutes (and the actual women themselves) everywhere.

Staying away from gambling too hard for you? No problem! Every building in town makes staying away from gambling a non-option so just gamble away.

Maybe some things need some work though. Most of the (ladies) bathrooms in Vegas have those automatic sinks, towel dispensers and toilet flushers. I don’t think they work so well though. While using one toilet at the Hard Rock Casino, it flsuhed not once, not twice, not three times, not four times, but five times before I even stood up. And after it flushed properly, that made for six flushes. At anywhere from 1.6 to 7 gallons of water per flush, that makes for 9.6 to 42 gallons of water wasted on me.

Now Las Vegas annually leases 500 acre-feet of water from the Storrie Lake Water Users Association. Do you think that if they had let me flush my own darn toilet they could have saved themselves some money? And imagine all those other wasted flushes…