To the man I drove behind this morning on the way to work:
Yes, those ladies you were checking out were cute, and perhaps their cuteness merited driving about 2 miles per hour past them. However, they didn’t check you out. They didn’t even notice you. Now, I don’t want tp speak out of turn, but I suspect it had something to do with your vehicle (or your mullet) (or both). In general, stylin’ ladies who are around 20 years old don’t seek out mulleted men in old Oldsmobile station wagons. (You didn’t even earn points for driving a nostalgic woody wagon!) So in addition to the fact that you were wasting your time by driving so slowly past them to check them out, you also were wasting my time. In addition, I assure you that if you continue with this tactic for checking out ladies, someone will report you to the police for plain old creepiness.
Sincerely,
Annoyed Commuter
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