My boyfriend is a cat owner. I come from a dog-owning family. I think I have made the transition quite well. I would even go so far as to say I like his two cats now. Yes – he owns two.

Cat #1: Newton
Newton is a big cat but very sweet. All he wants is to be petted. Newton apparently has no idea of his own strength and let’s his brother beat up on him. Which leads us to…

Cat #2: Adagio, a.k.a. Addy (otherwise known (by me) as Fatty or Fat Ass)
Fatty is a big puffball of hair and he is super skittish. When you run the vacuum cleaner, he spends the next several hours hiding out in the piano. He whines for long periods of time at stupid stuff (like a doorknob). Fatty’s redeeming quality, until recently, has been how fun it is to give him haircuts. To be clear, there really is no good reason to be cutting his other than the fact that it is fun. It makes him look mangy but also makes his fur super soft. And it’s easy to rationalize that it makes him cooler, right? The other day my boyfriend and I were cutting his hair – he held him down while I wielded the scissors. No lie, Fatty projectile SHAT. It was by far the most disgusting thing I have ever seen.

The next day I received the following email from my boyfriend, regarding Fat Ass.

Subject: Losing Points

K8,

Well I think Addy might be losing some points in your book. For dinner I gave them a sample of some ghetto cat food (9 Lives or something like that) as a treat. Within about 10 seconds Addy was making choking noises because he was eating too fast. I snapped my fingers and told him to slow down and chew his food. A couple of chomps later he then threw up on the placemat all over Gerald Ford. [In an effort to teach his cats about American politics, their food and water bowls are on a placemat listing all of the US presidents with pictures.] I don’t mind it so much because Ford was a republican.

Just thought I would share.

J

Newton is my favorite, for sure.

This post originally appeared on Kate’s Point of View. © Kate. All rights reserved.