Kissing Bug

Submitted by my brother, Jake:

So is anyone familiar with the Kissing Bug? I became acquainted with this bug Saturday night (aka Sunday morning since I went to bed around 3). The Kissing Bug is similar in size and appearance to a roach. It is nocturnal and is attracted to Carbon Dioxide. The Kissing Bug is a blood sucker. It bites the host’s lips, eyelids, or ears. This particular Kissing Bug got my upper lip.

I saw the intruder when I woke up, but didn’t realize I had been bitten. I assumed I just had a zit coming in. Later, I caught the bug, inspected it, and released it outside, still unaware that it attacked me. Sunday night, I was watching Animal Planet (because I’m a giant dork) and there was a show on called Nature’s Vampires. Sure enough, the last animal featured was the Kissing Bug. As my lip began to swell and I realized I didn’t have a zit, I became suspicious and researched the Kissing Bug on the internet. It is DEFINITELY the bug I caught and it is DEFINITELY the bug that bit me.

So what are the side-effects of a kiss from the Kissing Bug? Well, had I been allergic, or if I recieve more bites that weaken my immunity, I will suffer from anaphylactic shock, which will likely kill me. I also may have Chagas disease, which is contracted from the Kissing Bug taking a crap on your face as it feeds.

I know you want to see what this bug looks like and if my story checks out.

Just Google “Kissing Bug” for more info.