Kate's Point of View

Dear Liver,

You are the no-longer-functioning liver of Jake who has drank beers gloriously on the field of battle. I feel how weak and fruitless must be any words of mine which should attempt to beguile you from the grief of a loss so overwhelming. But I cannot refrain from tendering to you the consolation that may be found in the thanks of the party you died to save. I pray that our heavenly Father may assuage the anguish of your bereavement, and leave you only the cherished memory of the loved and lost beers, and the solemn pride that must be yours to have laid so costly a sacrifice upon the altar of good times.

Yours very sincerely and respectfully,
Jake

I have done a lot of dumb things in my life, many of them falling on holidays. They end up being great learning lessons though. For instance:

• Lesson: Birthday’s are special. You should not dump a guy on his birthday. I still feel bad for this one. And I still gave him his birthday gifts – one Will Smith CD (see, Jake, it does run in the family) and some incense.
• Lesson: While I still content that the romantic notion of Valentine’s Day is a manipulation of a Saint’s day by companies like Hallmark, for many people it’s a fun day to celebrate love. Thus said, it would be unfortunate to start dating a guy on Valentine’s Day when it happens to be the same day he has “broken up” with his girlfriend of four years, especially when he never really broke up with her.
• Lesson: Mother’s Day should be full of only good news for Mom. You should not tell your mom about getting a tattoo on Mother’s Day. You should especially not tell your mom that the tattoo is maybe, kinda, sorta, technically speaking practically on your butt. You should definitely not do that.