Some of my best friends are conservatives. Really. Okay, maybe one of my best friends? There are a lot of moderates I am friends with, too, but they aren’t nearly as entertaining as My Conservative Friend.
One of the reasons I like to hang out with My Conservative Friend is that we get to egg each other on and try and make the other person’s head pop off. For instance, while out drinking a few weeks back I told him of some consideration I was giving to an MBA program. His response, after a slightly agape mouth and widened eyes, was to say, “Welcome to the Republican party.” (My consideration of the degree pretty much ended there.)
Years ago there was this bar near the University of Cincinnati called Big Reds where they had a weekly special where you could buy an inexpensive pint glass and then get $1 beers all night. (You could use the same pint glass from week to week so it was a great deal.) I went there one night with My Conservative Friend and his business fraternity (which is basically a collection of people who own a LOT of navy blue suits and white oxford shirts) to drink. Now I’ll hand it to My Conservative Friend, he knows how to drink. But on this particular night THEY ALL TOASTED RONALD REAGAN.
After I got done peeing my pants from the absolute idiocy of this, I asked My Conservative Friend the meaning of the nonsense. “It’s Ronald Reagan’s birthday,” he said. Oh lord. I probably peed myself again, which he presumably expected from me, His Liberal Friend.
Yesterday was Reagan’s birthday. I had some beer. I thought about My Conservative Friend.
It was nice.
Anonymous
You forgot the best part of the evening. When the red neck guy started hitting on you, and then you looked at him and said “I bet you even drive a red pickup truck.” Of course he did, and he finally left you alone.
And I will let you know that I have only one Navy Blue suit. You should be proud of me, today I dressed a little wild, and am wearing a cream oxford shirt and olive dress pants.