I got to meet up for lunch with Mart Girl this weekend, which was, as always, lovely. There is something sacred about spending time with someone who has known you for more than half your live, and vice versa. Over noodle dishes at an Asian restaurant, we discussed my family member’s wedding next week and her family member’s this coming summer. I’ve experienced that whirlwind of wedding planning from the inside, but the view from the outside is so different.

The question I have been pondering is this: “Can a wedding bring members of a family closer together?”

Obviously, this is not specific to the bride and groom, thought does potentially apply.

Prior to my own submersion into wedding life, I would have thought the obvious answer to this was “Yes!” And yet. If found my own wedding painful with the family politicking and the tiptoeing around feelings. And goodness knows my own feelings were hurt more times than I care to recount. Now I am poised to watch this new family wedding and I am watching those awkward encounters replay in miserable slow-motion. Mart Girl is describing the same thing occurring in her family, though the narrator in her case paints it all in a rosy glow.

Can it be done? Can the joining of two people as husband and wife (or husband and husband or wife and wife) go smoothly and bring families together?

This post originally appeared on Kate’s Point of View. © Kate. All rights reserved.