Many moons ago I was attempting to create artwork for my apartment. On HGTV I had seen many a TV host create some nice looking piece of art in mere minutes. In my mind I had this vision of what I could make: a woman’s body with angel wings. It would be beautiful.
I bought a large canvas and set to work priming it lime green. Knowing I couldn’t paint the figure of a woman well, I got the brilliant idea to paint my upper body with bright purple. I then laid down on the canvas with a slight roll to either side to make sure all of my body touched the canvas. The end result was … awful. It looked like dolly party had lay herself upon my canvas. The trunk of the body turned out nice but the bosoms were HUGE. And so I gave up.
That ugly, mishap piece of art traveled with me to my current house and has been sitting up in the attic. Wonder Boy and I recently started our semi-annual cleaning of the attic and I decided it was time to officially get rid of the large-busted woman painting. I carried it outside and dropped into our trashcan, proud of myself for the purge.
And wouldn’t you know, some person plucked it out of the trashcan and carried it off.
So now my likeness, if I were to have enormous breast implants put in, hangs on the wall of some stranger’s home. Weird.
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